Many women fear the process of in vitro fertilization. This may be because they have heard that IVF babies are not normal, that the hormones they take will make them gain weight, or that it may cause early menopause, or even ovarian cancer. They may also have heard plenty of frightening stories from friends who have done IVF, such as how painful the injections can be, that it can cause frequent mood swings, limit physical activity and require bed rest, or even increase the risk of miscarriage in the future.
There are many myths and misconceptions that heighten anxiety, out of fear of the unknown. The biggest worry is that they may spend endless time, money and energy and in the end not achieve the desired result: having a baby.
Many women suppress their worries because they have been told they must only think positively. This can make things worse, since they cannot discuss what they feel with anyone. IVF seems like an artificial process: many patients believe that we manipulate eggs and sperm in the laboratory and that this goes against nature. They worry that if we fertilize the egg with weak sperm, the resulting baby will not be normal.
Often they do not trust doctors, and when they are told there will be no problems, they think they are being given false reassurance and that IVF is being offered as a solution because it is a more profitable procedure.
Ultimately, the only way to overcome all this anxiety and fear of the unknown is accurate information. Anyone interested in IVF should get informed from reliable sources, so that they understand the truth and can separate it from the myths that are so widespread.
They should not be swayed by various stories, because they may end up missing out on the great experience of pregnancy and regret it later in life, when they can no longer turn back the clock.
Myths and facts about IVF
- “IVF children are not normal.” Millions of children have been born through IVF since 1978. Large follow-up studies show growth and health comparable to other children. The small increase in certain risks is linked mainly to multiple pregnancies and to the underlying infertility of the parents. Read more in the article Children and IVF.
- “The hormones make you gain weight.” Bloating and fluid retention during stimulation are temporary and subside after the cycle.
- “Stimulation causes early menopause.” No. The medications make use of follicles that the body would lose anyway that month. Ovarian reserve is not depleted any sooner.
- “It causes ovarian cancer.” Available studies have not shown a causal link between IVF medications and cancer.
- “You need bed rest after embryo transfer.” Bed rest does not increase the chances. After the embryo transfer you return to a gentle daily routine.
Practical ways to reduce anxiety
- Learn the stages. Stimulation, egg retrieval, fertilization, embryo transfer, waiting. When you know what comes next, the unknown gets smaller.
- Write down your questions. Bring them to your appointment. No question is too much.
- Limit forums. Other people’s stories are not your medical history.
- Get moving. Walking, yoga or swimming ease tension and help you sleep.
- Talk to your partner. Each of you experiences the pressure differently. See also the article Couples and fertility.
- Ask for support. A psychologist with experience in infertility can really help, especially after an unsuccessful attempt.
- Plan the days of the wait. Work, outings, small plans. An empty schedule feeds worry. The symptoms after embryo transfer do not predict the result.
Does stress lower the chances of success?
It is the question we hear most often. The data are reassuring: there is no convincing evidence that stress lowers pregnancy rates in IVF. So do not blame yourself for feeling anxious. Anxiety does, however, affect your quality of life, and it is the most common reason couples drop out of treatment before they have used up their chances. That is why it is worth looking after. Read more in the article on stress and conception.
One source of anxiety is conflicting advice. What is really off-limits after embryo transfer is covered in one place in our dedicated guide.
How anxiety changes at each stage of IVF
IVF anxiety is not a constant feeling. It rises and falls depending on the stage of treatment. If you know what to expect, you can prepare for the most demanding moments.
Before the cycle starts
Tests, decisions and financial planning often bring a sense that everything is being decided right now. It helps to have a written plan: dates, medications, and who keeps you informed about what.
During stimulation
Daily injections and hormonal changes can make you more emotionally vulnerable. Crying over small things or irritability are common and they pass. Anxiety usually centers on the number of follicles at each ultrasound.
Egg retrieval and updates from the lab
Many couples describe the days after egg retrieval as a countdown in numbers: how many eggs, how many mature, how many fertilized. Remember that a drop from stage to stage is expected and does not mean failure.
The wait after the transfer
For most women this is the hardest phase, because there is nothing active left to do. This is where planning your time and support from those around you matter most.
Relaxation techniques you can start using today
The European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE) guideline on psychosocial care in infertility recognizes that interventions such as cognitive behavioral approaches and mind-body techniques can reduce emotional burden. A few simple practices:
- Slow diaphragmatic breathing: breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds and out through your mouth for 6. Five minutes, twice a day, or whenever you feel pressure before an ultrasound.
- Progressive muscle relaxation: tense and relax muscle groups one after another, from your feet up to your face. It is especially helpful for insomnia.
- Worry time: set aside 15 minutes a day to write down whatever is on your mind. When the thought comes back outside that time, you postpone it for later. It sounds simple, but it limits the endless loop of thoughts.
- Treatment diary: write down medications, times and questions. A sense of control reduces the fear that you will forget something.
- Guided meditation: ten minutes before bed is enough to get started.
You do not have to do them all. Pick one or two and repeat them daily for at least two weeks before you judge whether they help.
Fear of injections and how to overcome it
For many women the first obstacle is practical: they cannot imagine giving themselves an injection. This fear is very common and it can be overcome.
- Ask the midwife or nurse to show you the first injection, and do the second one in front of her.
- Most medications come in prefilled pens with a very fine needle.
- A little ice on the spot for a minute reduces the feeling of the prick.
- Your partner can take over the injections, which often helps him feel actively involved.
If the fear remains intense, discuss protocols with fewer injections with your doctor. In selected cases, mini IVF uses mainly tablets and only a few injections.
Your partner’s anxiety: treatment involves two people
Attention almost always focuses on the woman, who has the injections and the tests. The partner often feels helpless, or guilty if the problem involves the sperm. The pressure of giving a sample on the day of egg retrieval is also real and rarely discussed.
- Talk openly about how each of you feels, without comparing who is suffering more.
- If you are worried about the sample, ask in advance for a backup sample to be frozen.
- When there is a male factor, accurate information about male infertility reduces guilt and shows that most problems have a solution.
- Share the responsibilities: one handles the medications, the other the appointments and communication with the clinic.
Work, appointments and daily life without panic
Much of the anxiety is not medical but logistical. How will I take time off work? What will I say? What if the egg retrieval gets moved?
- Monitoring ultrasounds are usually done early in the morning and are short. Ask whether they can be scheduled before your working hours.
- The exact date of egg retrieval is confirmed one to two days in advance. Keep that week flexible.
- You are not obliged to explain details to your employer. A general reference to medical tests is enough.
- Ask your HR department or accountant about the leave available for medical reasons.
When a cycle does not succeed
A negative result hurts, even when you were expecting it. Grief, anger or a sense of emptiness are normal reactions to a real loss. Give yourself time before deciding on the next attempt.
The follow-up appointment with your doctor is very valuable. There you discuss what the cycle showed, what can change and what the realistic chances are going forward. Many couples feel relieved when they leave with a specific plan, even if it includes a break.
A break of one or two months does not reduce the chances in most cases and can give you the emotional energy you need to continue. However, if time is pressing because of age, ask your doctor to tell you clearly how much leeway there is.
How friends and family can support you
Your loved ones usually want to help but do not know how. Sometimes their words, without meaning to, increase the pressure. Phrases like “just relax and it will happen” or “think positive” sound well-meaning, but they leave you feeling that it is your fault.
It helps to tell them specifically what you need:
- To ask “how are you?” instead of “any news?”.
- To respect your choice not to share dates and results.
- To offer practical help, such as a home-cooked meal or a ride on the day of egg retrieval.
- Not to compare your situation with other couples’ stories.
Boundaries on social media, too
Pregnancy announcements and baby photos can be especially painful during treatment. It is not rude to mute accounts or take a short break from social media. It is a simple way to protect your emotional balance on the days when you are most vulnerable.
If you feel you have no one to talk to, support groups for couples with infertility, in person or online, offer something precious: people who understand without you having to explain.
For a personalized assessment of your case, book an appointment with Dr. Panagiotis Polyzos at his office in Athens or Volos.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to be afraid of IVF?
Absolutely. It is a process that carries a medical, emotional and financial burden. Fear decreases when you know the steps and have a doctor who answers your questions.
Do the injections and egg retrieval hurt?
The injections are given under the skin with a very fine needle, and most women tolerate them well. Egg retrieval is done under sedation, so you do not feel pain. Mild cramps afterward are common.
Do I need to stop working during treatment?
Usually not. You only need short visits for ultrasounds and one day off for egg retrieval. Many women prefer to keep working, because it keeps them productively occupied.
How do you get through the two-week wait?
With a routine, gentle activity and by avoiding early tests. Symptoms, or the lack of them, are not a reliable sign, because they are mainly caused by the progesterone you are taking.
When is a psychologist needed?
When anxiety affects your sleep, work or relationship, when you feel persistent sadness, or after unsuccessful attempts. Support is not a sign of weakness but part of care.
Do acupuncture or yoga help with IVF?
They can help with relaxation and a sense of well-being. Large studies have not shown a clear increase in pregnancy rates, so choose them if they make you feel better, not as an obligation.
Do anti-anxiety medications or antidepressants affect treatment?
Do not stop them abruptly. Inform your gynecologist and psychiatrist, so that the safety of each medication during treatment and in a possible pregnancy can be assessed together.
Is it normal to feel jealous when other women get pregnant?
Yes, it is a very common feeling and it does not make you a bad person. Allow yourself to skip events that hurt you for a while, and talk about it with your partner or a specialist.
How long a break should we take after a failed cycle?
From a medical point of view, a new cycle can often start after one period. The most important factor, however, is the couple’s emotional readiness, combined with age and the doctor’s advice.
How do I prepare emotionally for result day?
Agree in advance with your partner on how and where you will find out the result, for example together at home rather than at work. Think about what you will do that evening in either case. This small preparation reduces the feeling that everything hinges on one phone call.